Friday, February 27, 2009

5 Tips to Help You Reconcile With Your Ex

Getting your ex back after a bad breakup can be really difficult if you're like most people and have no idea where to even begin. 95% of freshly-separated people like you are going through the same troubles, and here are some tips to help you through some of the pitfalls of this tough time.








1. Distance is important! It's smart to take about a month off from your ex completely after a breakup, to allow for healing on both sides and a chance to get yourself in order for the campaign to win him or her back. This means NO contact at all, if at all possible!








2. Depression is natural and acceptable, but letting it run your life and hold you down is NOT. If you're going to even recover from this breakup, much less get your ex back and find happiness again, you're going to have to forge ahead no matter how poorly you feel. Turn your misery and loneliness into motivation to succeed!








3. The fight isn't to change your ex, but to change yourself. I know that doesn't seem fair, but right now asking anything of your ex is too much, at the risk of placing too much pressure on him or her and making the gap between you even bigger. Do everything you can on your end first, and your ex is sure to follow once it's obvious how hard you've worked. Both sides will end up compromising, but you have to initiate!








4. Take care of yourself! It's easy to let yourself go during a rough time like this, but staying healthy and active (both physically and socially) is important right now. Boosting morale and confidence, regularly exercising and staying socially active with your friends will empower you to rise above your pain and accomplish things you didn't think you had the strength to.








5. I strongly advise against "winging it" when it comes to getting your ex back. To go into this without a plan would be a very big mistake, as thinking on your feet becomes very hard when you're dealing with someone who raises up so much emotion. Get some help if you need to, but make sure you have a plan to get your ex back.








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3 Tips to Impress Your Ex and Win Her Back

Some of the most frequently-asked questions I get are "how do I get her attention again?" or "how do I make her take reconsider me for another shot?". These are very good questions, and here are three things you can do that'll guarantee that your ex will take a closer look if she happens to come across you.








1) Maintain your personal appearance. A lot of people let themselves fall apart because they feel unattractive or unwanted on the inside and tend to not bother with upkeep on the outside. Keep your health and hygiene...not only are they pretty basic human necessities, but keeping yourself together demonstrates to your ex that you have a little more emotional strength than may have been apparent. Most breakups end up making us appear weak due to the ways we naturally respond to the drama and confusion...this'll help to counteract that.








2) As important as your personal appearance, indeed possibly even moreso, is your social appearance. If you retreat into yourself and close everyone off to sit in your dark apartment hating your life...you're not going to look like you're handling your life very well. What you need to do is seek out the friends you have in life and stay active with them. You DO have people who care about you, and just being with them in a public place can be great emotional support for you and a big notifier sign that tells your ex that you can take care of yourself without falling to pieces over this...which builds some serious respect and sometimes even a little jealousy.








3) The real kicker though isn't as readily visible to your ex as the other two tips so far were...at least not until she takes a closer look (but then she'll be quite pleased). I'm talking about the hard introspective and constructive work that you should be doing to address the problems you two had that brought about or contributed to the breakup.








Your girlfriend doesn't just dump you for no reason...and I'm sure if you sat down and thought hard enough you'd figure out what those reasons are. If you've caught her attention with the top two tips, you can drive the nail home by having really worked on and even fixed those issues that turned the relationship sour.








So there you have it...3 things you can do that'll really show your ex you're worth reconsidering, and they're all also helpful to just getting back on your feet and surviving this thing in one piece. So...don't let these things slip, and you should have a far easier time of this than you otherwise could. Good luck!








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